Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
