some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
