Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
