good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
