I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
