She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
