He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
