I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
