His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
