I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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