Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
