Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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