My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
