i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
