Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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