Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
