just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
