The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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