I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
