Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
