Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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