She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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