My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
