For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
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