My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
