i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
