I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
