yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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