Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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