Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
