My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
