your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The best revenge is premature balding
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
