drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
nutella sex= disaster
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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