Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Drunk is a universal language darling
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
