party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
