that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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