are you so shy because you have an std?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
