According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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