When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
