1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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