When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
