Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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