Redeem this text for a blowjob
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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