oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
