i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
