The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
