WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
