Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
