Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
