Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
