You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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