I want to have your abortion
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
